Week Twelve: Matt and Heidi

Nearly three months into the domestication of Tune Castle, and Erica and I were almost settled in. The situation at home was great, but work had me stressed out all week. Leading up to the date, with a couple we knew the least well thus far, I wasn't sure what to expect. What we got, when we opened our little doors to have Matt and Heidi hunch inside, was one of the best double dates so far.



Here's the lengthy backstory of my history with Matt. He went to Garfield, while I attended its rival school Roosevelt. We met through various mutual friends at several underage drinking fests. He was huge and never beat me up. So I liked him.

How Matt ended up at my house was equally simple. I ran into him at Danny's (Week 11) birthday party at the Stoop in Ravenna. I was eagerly booking away slots on my phone's calendar, and Matt was there with his lovely wife Heidi, and they were big and they didn't beat me up. So I invited them over for dinner.

With not much more than a handful of pleasant run-ins, I wasn't sure how this dinner would pan out. Especially since I didn't even have Matt's cell phone number, and I was watching him "check-in" to San Francisco area establishments on Facebook the Monday before our date. I sent him a message with my number and told him to text me about the meal. My phone was acting up, due to a lack of storage space, and thus I didn't get his return text until the day prior to the date.

And with the late-arriving text came the second hitch: clams. Matt is Catholic and enduring Lent at the time. Lent, for all intensive purposes, means one cannot eat land creatures for a short period of time. This date was within that window, thus Matt proposed we do clams.

I have never eaten clams. I have an unhealthy fear of seafood, mostly that it might be unhealthy (the food, not the fear). I wasn't sure how to even approach clams. But Matt said he and Heidi would bring over the clams and prepare them. So I decided to give clams a try for the first time in my life. I chopped up some onions and garlic prior to their arrival, but other than that, I got to kick back and wait for the company, which was great.

The turn in my expectations occurred immediately upon their arrival. They pulled up in style, dressed awesome, with flowers, booze and food in hand. Matt was sporting a Chicago Bears wool vest over a button-up shirt and Heidi looked glamorous with a fedora tilted to the side on her head. My nerves subsided and we cracked open Matt's drink of choice to accompany us on the tour of the house. That drink of choice was Olde English "800" (<---why is the 800 in quotations marks?) which my wife mistook for fancy beer. It is malt liquor.



The tour of the house was the first tour I got to partake in. Normally, I am in the middle of cooking something poorly. But this time, I got to do the walk through and when I returned to the kitchen, I got to sit back and watch Heidi doing some cooking.

To prepare the clams, Heidi cut up two sticks of butter into a frying pan, joking that she was Julia Child (a tall chef who used lots of butter). She tossed the onions and garlic in, followed by the clams, then simmered them until the shells popped open. Then we just ate them standing the kitchen, straight out of the shell. I had not one, but two, and was rather pleased.



Then I whipped up some basic pasta with red sauce, which I must say (and apologize for) was the blandest meal I ever cooked. But my shortcomings as a cook didn't weigh heavy on my mind, as I was deeply involved with the conversations taking place at the table.

Matt and Heidi are extremely social people from large families, both in size and numbers. They know how to double date. They are natural, calm, engaging and interesting. My backup plan, created out of my lack of exposure to them up until this night, was to go through all the Table Topics and weed out the bad questions. I figured this would give us something to do if it got awkward and we ran out of things to talk about. That might have worked, if Matt and Heidi weren't so awesome. The problem that popped up was this: even the lame questions would spur superb ten-minute conversations, each revealing the morals and values of everyone at the table.



It was in the middle of this process that I realized how great Matt and Heidi are. They have huge hearts, and not just literally. I stumbled into some rant about my irrational hatred of hobos and beggars, only to find Matt helping me gracefully rephrase my thoughts so I didn't seem like such a douchebag. We covered a ton of touchy subjects, from abortion to theft. And each answer Matt and Heidi gave was laced with good intentions and rational thought.

More interesting than the who-you-are game was the how-you-got-this-way stories leading up to it. Matt told us about his Polish Chicago-based family, with generations of first letter M-named people. Heidi told us about the proposal, both hers and his. We learned about their jobs, their meeting, and their future plans. Although Matt and Heidi will not be added to our No Kids Couple list, they are certainly a fantastic new option for us to couple off with. Erica and I both enjoyed getting to know them much better via this date.



With the reservations I had coming into this date, I am now a changed man. I no longer fear ingesting clams. I no longer believe everyone bigger than me is going to beat me up. And best of all, I am looking forward to every single date I have booked now because this one went so well.

The date with Matt and Heidi was one of the best, and certainly the perfect example of how an ideal DD should go. There's only one way to follow it up... GO BIG.

Next week we have our third POWER COUPLE coming over and our first out-of-state visitors: Rob and Kathryn Ried from Denver, Colorado. And they are coming with their adorable children Jeff, Will and Matt. It is going to be a full house and a fun time. You'll certainly be hearing about it. Cheers.

Week Eleven: Danny and Julie

The house was getting close to presentable: the couches for the living room had arrived, the rug was on the floor, the shelves were filled with trinkets. We felt like we could tangibly host a dinner party and not feel too ashamed with our setup. That being said, when things are "almost done," that is when you notice all the small details which are lacking.

With no art, plants, or pillows, it was nice to have familiar friends heading over. Once again, we would be consulting a couple for advice on decor. The couple of counsel this week was Danny and Julie.




Danny and I went to high school together at Roosevelt. He was part of the group of friends with Evan (Week 10) and Aaron (Week 4). He has always been extremely nice and super down to chill. He's laid back and level headed and I'm glad we've kept in touch this long.

He is also generally punctual, so I was praying for another 20 minute late couple entrance as I started cooking about 15 minutes before 7pm, but got no such luck. Right on time, Danny and Julie knocked on our front door. Erica invited them in, and gave them "the tour" as I stayed put in the kitchen and continued to rush through the motions of the meal.

The meal was pasta. Danny had opted with the "we are easy" text in regards to what the meal should be. So I went back to my bread and butter and decided to make something easy. Penne pasta, with spicy Italian sausage, julienne red pepper, diced onion, minced garlic and spices with red sauce. As a side dish, red potatoes with lemon, garlic, butter and oregano. Served with a sparkling rose wine and followed by chocolate ice cream.




We opened the rose in the kitchen and shared a drink while I finished up cooking. It wasn't the ideal process, but honestly, I liked it a lot more than serving cold food. I might try to work on having an appetizer ready at entrance and finishing the meal while the guests sit on the couches and have a cocktail.

The pasta was fantastic but the potatoes were rough, they needed to be softer and they came out of the oven late into the dinner. The sparkling rose went fast and was followed by an excellent bottle of Eastern WA red wine that Danny and Julie brought from a tasting, and it complimented the sausage perfectly. I normally would have directed attention to the mantle piece on the chimney, but Erica had finally convinced me to move it.

With the hideous mantle piece finally out of play, Erica and I had a new issue of taste to offer up to visitors: what should hang above the dinner table nestled against the wall? It is obviously awkward for the two people seated on the bench facing the wall to be staring at a giant blank space. But should it be a picture? A painting? How big, what colors? Etc.

And Danny, leading in with a disclaimer that we would not like his idea initially, offered up an indeed horrible solution. Stickers. I'm pretty sure I shut my brain down before any further explanation of this was expunged. Stickers on the wall has to be way worse than a clay statue of a smaller person reaching a hand into a larger person's pocket. Stickers was bad. But we did a round robin, and I likely offered up the second worse idea, which was to paint an exact replica of the what one would see looking out the windows on the opposite wall. A painting, a Seattle skyline picture, a few other things... then I tossed out the idea of a giant composite picture from each group shot of the 52 Double Dates.

Redemption time for Danny. He suggested 52 small, individual black frames (3"x5" or 4"x6") adding to the wall as the dates occurred. It would be like a dating advent calendar. And a super cool conversation piece. If I can get my wife to agree on this, I love that idea. It's personal and meaningful. And it's not stickers.



Naturally, the conversation turned to the topic of terrorism. It came about while discussing television series we recommend. I noted that it was interesting the largest narrative of our time came about after 9/11, with shows like (more recently) Homeland and (the most popular) 24. We grazed over the conspiracy issues and settled on the fact that the current war of the age is always exploited in all facets of culture but especially Hollywood (for example, all the movies about Vietnam). The Muslim or Middle Easterner as a villain is not a reality that anyone at our dinner table subscribes to, but I do find the hyper-patriotism of shows like that very entertaining.

There's no place to go from terrorism other than Table Topics. So we busted out the best batch and did the thing. Somehow this habit stumbled into the How-We-Met habit. And I delivered a long-winded Alaska story, including added detail that my wife would like to dispute.

More interesting to me (and I'm sure the table) was Danny and Julie's story. Julie was friends with Evan (Week 10) in college at SU. Danny would constantly visit Evan and Cliff in the dorms and thus had known her through friends since 2001. They had been friends for over 8 years before they finally started dating. It was a very feel good saga, almost sitcom-esque, that ended with the first kiss.




It was during this part of the night we discovered our outrageous couple compatibility. Danny and Julie are a No Kids Couple. Not like they just don't have kids yet, like... they aren't planning on it. Erica and I, at this point, do not see children in our future. Danny, logically, does not want to contribute to the overpopulation of a world with an environment being destroyed by humans. In our case, we don't think we could raise a child. Our dog and cat are already receiving subpar attention. I am 100% sure at some point I would try putting my baby in a kennel to leave the house. I just don't know how parenting is done and I am nowhere close to ready for that challenge.

Nonetheless, we are both No Kids Couples. And this is awesome, because it means when we are the weird 50 year-olds with no children, we will be in Cancun together sipping margaritas and spending what would have been a college fund. No hatred directed towards our wonderful friends with beautiful children who are excellent parents. Do your thing! But your thing is not our thing. No Kids Couple bond.




The next evening, I ran into Julie and Danny at Theo's (coming up in Week 33, we are booked THAT far out) birthday party, they applied for a position created by them. Thus, they get it. And that position is Safety Couple. In the event of a DD cancellation, Danny and Julie get first dibs on a 2nd date.

I am still working out in my head what exactly this journey is and how it will unfold. Ideally, there will be 52 different couples, no repeats (although Erica and I definitely want to couple off with Danny and Julie again, as well as all of our visiting couples thus far). I want to add tradition to the mix, which is why I like the pictures idea for wall art. I also want to end the year with some sort of climax or recap. And I even have an idea to remedy the Table Topics monotony.

That chore will be placed on the shoulders of next week's couple: Big Matt and Heidi. Until next time, remember, stay in-touch with everyone and always set aside a day to have fun and enjoy life. Cheers.

Week Ten: Evangelos and Mariko

The house is finally coming together! Everything is clean and in it's place, the last pieces of furniture are set to be delivered, and Lola and Smokey have finally adjusted to each other. With the hideous yellow living room walls freshly painted a light gray, we opened our doors to the first on-time couple so far: Evangelos and Mariko.



Erica and I were very excited to host our first dinner with the living/dining room somewhat resembling a place one could live and or dine. There was only one box left leaning against the wall, the color was now deemed wifely acceptable, and we even had our new dining table and wine bar all set up. The awful mantle piece, of course, stayed put.




I met Evan at Roosevelt High School, sophomore year. For lack of a better term, we were drinking buddies. He was friends with the whole clique, and that group expanded to be even larger by our senior year. But ever since I've known him, he's been one of the gang.

One thing I know about Evan is he has an insane poker face while conducting awkward humor. As a practitioner of amateur comedy, I am deeply impressed with his ability to keep a straight face while proposing ridiculous things. So when I texted him to confirm our date and get dinner details, and his response was "I think we're good, we just need to lock down a sitter," I honestly thought he was messing with me. I texted our mutual friend Danny (next Week's guest) and asked if Evan had a kid that I didn't know about it. Turns out he does and she is 13.

Wow. I had seen Evan off and on since I returned to WA from CO, but how could I miss this? It was clear I had a lot of catching up to do. I hit Evan back about the food and drinks, and he said they were easy and would do whatever, so I chose to make salmon, because I have never cooked fish before. He later texted me asking if the meal was Israel conscious, which I then took seriously, but this was a joke.



I picked up four fillets of Alaskan Sockeye, and had my parents forward me their recipe. They cook salmon as follows: oil a skillet, salt and pepper the fish, place the fish skin down first and cook it on medium high for about 2 minutes on each side. Add in julienne bell peppers (red, orange and yellow) and a diced shallot and continue to cook and flip the fish for a few more minutes. Turn down the heat and add in a cup of OJ, four teaspoons of lime juice and four teaspoons of lemon juice. Simmer the mix with a lid for 8 minutes, making sure not to overcook the meat. Sprinkle with dill weed on the back end and you're finished.



To accompany the meal, I added Indonesian brown rice (from PCC) and steamed broccoli with a slice of lemon on the side. We served it with ice water and a sauvignon blanc. And thus far, I would say, thanks to the help of my parents and PCC, it was the best cooked meal to date! Especially because we ended the dinner with a small slice of NY cheesecake.



The meal was great, and so was the company. I dove deep into catching up with Evan and found out multiple things I was in the dark on: Mariko has a 13 year-old daughter, Evan and Mariko have two Boston Terriers, and they just purchased a house together in the Wedgewood area. I was such a wild card when I was younger, and Evan and I were so different, it was awesome to connect and see how similar we have become growing up. This was a very mature dinner party.

Mariko is from Japan and met Evan via her former co-worker Wakako, who is married to our mutual friend Theo. I took that opportunity to sneak my music into the conversation (and inevitably play it) by asking her what the writing on the back of The Let Go's Japanese release said. It said FREE SAMPLE. No wonder we never got paid beyond the advance...



Erica and I stumbled into our "how we met" story, and kind of dropped the ball a bit. I could see her horrified look as I flirted with the idea of diving into a long-winded Alaskan tale, or falsely accusing her of bar-hopping for boys, so I grazed over the topic. We are going to have to accept that this will just be a formality of a DD. Standard protocol of the exchange of information. But it was the only point in the evening conversation lagged.

We did the Table Topics. Blasted some music. Opened a second, then third bottle of wine. Played with the dog and set a date for homemade sushi at their place sometime in the future. I very much enjoy Evan and Mariko as people.



There were a few things I can definitely say about this double date. First, I was surprised at how smooth and comfortable it went, Evan and I have always been casual acquaintances. Second, it felt great to spend time with a couple on a comparable path going through similar things. Third, at the end of the year Couples Awards, Evangelos and Mariko will certainly get Coolest Names, and, of course, First On-Time Couple.

Next week, Erica and I will be hosting hopefully on-time Danny and Julie. Stay TUNED.

Week Nine: Riana and John

Week 9 was surrounded by hype: the strongest Power Couple in the North Seattle Division of Couple Friends was booked, a repeat meal and cocktail was requested, the house was starting to shape up, and, most exciting of all, we added a new member to the Tune family. The stage was set for high drama, and top ranked Riana and John delivered a killer DD.



As Erica answered the door, all eyes quickly shifted to the smallest creature in the room (not my wife). At less than 10 pounds and younger than 8 months, our puppy French bulldog Lola was on her 5th day in the house. It was immediately clear at that moment who the star of the night and the rest of 52DD would be: our dog.



Previously named Honey Badger, Erica and I got Lola from our friend Mary, who has another Frenchie and a son. It was too much to handle and she needed to lessen her workload and stress. I had told her "give me that dog" literally every time she saw me. So when she decided to sell HB/Lola, I was the first person she asked.

Erica and I aren't in the best financial situation at the moment, given the plumbing problem we just endured. So I told Mary that Erica and I needed to watch the dog for a day to see if she got along with our cat Smokey. In a sense, I was trying to back pedal a bit. I figured I had a way out other than telling her I just couldn't pay. But after spending 5 minutes with Lola, we called Mary and greenlighted the new family member. Luckily my sister agreed with the decision and floated us the needed currency.

So after several "oh my God's" and puppy squeezes, Riana and John came into the kitchen as I finished up cooking. I have not perfected when the meals should be done in this process, I usually plate too early, however, I think finishing up the cooking over cocktails might be the preferred method now. The meal was tacos, but this time with chicken and authentic style (small corn tortillas). Naturally, the cocktail was margaritas. Ri and John brought us some Hussongs Tequila, and using Jesse's (Week 5) recipe, I made some much better-than-before drinks. I have heard the key to good cocktails is fresh squeezed juice, which I agree with, but I now also believe the quality of the liquor is also very important.



The other thing Ri brought over was homemade salsa. So we busted out the tortilla chips, I heated up some dirty rice and refried beans and we ate. The chicken was a little on the spicy side, which I personally like, but overall, I think it was one of the better meals I made. We somehow landed on the topic of travel (I believe it was over food discussion) and Ri and John told us about all the incredible vacations they have been on. Once a year in April they go to Mexico. Their best meal ever was in a small coastal town in Italy, at a private restaurant that converted into a dance party afterward. They had very engaging and interesting stories about their experiences, and I enjoyed listening to them sort through stories back and forth together and create a vivid picture in our heads of their history.

With the margaritas out of the picture, I went to the fridge and broke out some Negra Modelo and made some Micheladas. A Michelada is a beer cocktail, made popular in Mexico in the 1940's. Generally, the recipe contains tomato juice or clamato and a salted rim glass. However, I make mine as follows: ice, a splash of Tabasco, a splash of Worcestershire sauce, a pinch of pepper, a pinch of salt, half a freshly squeezed lime and a beer. I'm not sure they were a total hit, but that's the flavor I personally like for that drink.



Somehow, we landed on how you met stories. The way Erica and I met, or, ended up going on our first date, rather, is quite interesting. The story starts with me flying out to Alaska to meet a girl I met on Myspace. I actually told a somewhat butchered and tamer version as my Wedding speech, which left out the naked black men I saw and various other juicy details. So Ri and John got the full, uncensored story, which I will save for my back pocket in case future double daters inquire, but the conclusion is essentially that I had only called Erica (who intimidated me greatly with her beauty) because I had an interesting story to tell her. Our first date was me recanting this story.

Riana and John are clearly well adjusted, attractive and dynamic people. My favorite moment of the night was once again putting my hideous mantle piece at the mercy of public opinion, and this time getting a seal of approval from the couple. To shame my wife (who hates the mantle piece), we posed for a portrait recreating the awful art.



I went on to repetitively tell Ri how much I liked her Dad, and awkwardly enough, how much he liked me. Her Dad Tom was my mentor at Roosevelt High School, and we launched a student run poetry movement that is still alive and well thanks to Tom's efforts. Noticing I was in mid-ramble mode, I reached for the Table Topics. To my horror, Ri and John immediately recognized the move. They have read the blog(*), so they know all about Table Topics. I think busting out the game might now be seen as an offensive gesture, almost a sign of waning conversation or pending boredom. I assure you this was not the case, so if it happens to you, just know, most people will face the Table Topics at 52DD. It's part of the culture.

We made our way through several questions in the box, each one exposing more how charismatic and genuine Ri and John are. We fit in some catch up about what old friends are doing and where they are at currently and we passed Lola around from lap to lap. As the 11th hour approached (I say this as an expression, it was literally probably the 6th hour at this point in the DD), I called up Ben (Week 1) to ask him a question about touring with Outasight because John had a friend who worked with him. The brief phone question ended up in a visit from Ben and Josephine, who were also excited to come say hello to Lola, of course.

What happened next would forever change my life, and now, it will your's as well. Ri and John introduced us all to SLAP SHOTS. A slap shot has one rule: firm but fair. The shooter takes a shot of booze, and once it is swallowed, the slapper slaps the shooter immediately in the face, not too hard but not too weak. Firm, but fair. The idea is this action replaces the need for a chaser. It also looks like an insane display of public domestic abuse, so they advised against doing it at bars.



The slap shots escalated into the group blasting Boyz II Men and chugging a ridiculous sized bottle of vodka, running around the house with a giant pillow fish and slapping the crap out of each other. Suddenly, I woke up with all my clothes on laying on top of the covers. I took one survey of the house and noticed it was totally destroyed. I also heard snoring coming from the shut guestroom door. Success! Couple number two to utilize the anti-DUI bed (the originators of this move were Gomez and Devon from Week 6).



I groaned my way back up the stairs and got under the covers. I next awoke to the sound of the dishwasher, when I went to investigate, I discovered that Riana and John had cleaned the entire house, sorted the garbage and had the dishes going. Between the homemade salsa, nice tequila and cleanup crew, I have to say, I am very impressed. And of course, the gift of slap shots.

I'm going to go on record and say something stupid: try this at home. I don't know what kind of legal trouble this puts me in, but try slap shots at home. Do it.

Next week I will be trying to rope my friend Evangelos into taking slap shots with his girlfriend Mariko. Stay TUNED.

(*) One of the funnier moments of the evening was Riana recalling how she was reading John last week's blog entry out loud, which has a preview of their date. She read the first sentence about good-looking popular people from Roosevelt and Ballard and was like "John, who are these people? I thought we were next week!"